What I’ve Been Promised: Army

I think I’ve settled into the idea that I’ll be in the Army for the next decade. It’s a comfortable feeling. I just need to do my best and “ride it out” until retirement. I’m sure the Army will throw plenty of problems at me along the way, but I’m also certain that I can navigate my way to completion. So, bring it Army: I’ll take the training exercises with lack of showers or adequate food, I’ll take the deployments with separation from the family and intermittent danger, I’ll even take garrison life with “dog and pony shows” and “hurry and wait” taskings.

But know this, Army….you will grant me retirement. You will pay me 50% of my base pay for the rest of my life and you’ll give me medical care at a low cost so that I can live long after my service on your dime. You owe me that.

I’ve sacrificed my freedom so that the nation could have theirs. You’ve placed me in danger so that others could be safe. I will have put the nation before myself and my family for 20 years at the end…worked for lower pay than I could have made in civilian life for 20 years…given you my youth!…and you’ll give me what you promised when I signed up. You will fulfill your duty as I have fulfilled mine. –Carl Miller

Obsessing over the Irrational (Chewing Disgusts Me)

I have this weird thing where the sound of chewing, crunching, slurping, or any smacking sound that another person’s mouth can make is disgusting to me. It’s terrible and I want to change how I feel about it, but I can’t. Is this OCD? I feel like it is OCD because I’m obsessing about something that is irrational. I’m sort of like the OCD guy with Mysophobia (Urban Dictionary’s germaphobia) who keeps washing his hands because he touched a door or a towel or something…he knows that it is irrational for him to think the towel has something disgusting on it, but he can’t stop thinking about how disgusting the towel is, so he washes his hands repeatedly to sooth the disgust feeling.

This is how the sound of chewing is to me…except I don’t have compulsive activity to go along with the irrational obsessive thought. The obsessing doesn’t interfere with my work life. I can push through it and people I work with don’t know I’m suffering.

I told my wife about my problem and she’s not extremely supportive. I think she’s more offended than anything…like she thinks I’m insulting her by my obsessing over everyone’s chewing in my head. So I’m real careful not to say anything. In fact, I never say anything when I’m suffering from the obsessive thoughts because it would just sound crazy to other people…

Am I doomed to suffer in silence for a lifetime? What can I do? Are there others out there like me? -Carl Miller