My thoughts crave the next stage in my life. I enjoy present moments in the short term, and I forget myself on occasion, but the times I forget myself are mere seconds within the epochs of time I spend coveting the greener pastures of my mind’s conjured and expected future.
My mind is wrong. I don’t want what the next stage in my life will bring. Maybe I will when I get it, but it won’t be what I expect it will be. The fact is that I deceive myself into thinking I want retirement because my mind equates retirement with less responsibility. But what I really want is to be young. I enjoyed my carefree years. I yearn for that experience again.
I’m younger now than I’ll ever be. I’ll never be this young again. What I’m yearning for is nonexistent. And my wants are causing me to miss my life. These are my good ol’ days. If I seek to pursue my own individual happiness I must take myself less seriously and start to enjoy me. Can I fool myself into doing that? I don’t think I can. -unfigurable