I started the year thinking that I had to develop my inner prickishness. I thought it was part of leadership . . . that it would enable me to get more accomplished. I think I was wrong. Every time I’m a prick my actions come back to haunt me. But then again, when I’m not a prick my inactions haunt me as well, because things don’t happen as fast or don’t happen at all, and I’m held accountable. So I’m fucked. I can be a dick to everyone and grit my way through the complaints for my borderline bullyish and abusive approach, or I can be a nice guy, everyone feels comfortable, and nobody works.
Maybe I should try to develop my inspiring character. If I do that I can inspire people to work for me without being a prick. But I have the feeling that if I could inspire people to work I would have developed that trait already. I also have the feeling that inspiration works at higher levels of leadership and I’m a mid-level manager – I need to move up the chain a bit before I can see if my inspirational side is effective. But I can’t move up the chain if I’m not a prick. Fuck! -unfigurable