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Partying and Work

I need to stabilize.  It’s difficult for me to find a middle ground of mood.  I had a great day today.  I hit the highs.  I’m not looking to maintain an elevated state.  I’m just tired of the valleys.

The problem could be that I partied growing up.  Maybe the toxins messed up my synapses or distorted how I regulate my dopamine and serotonin.  I’d hate to think that shit I did as a teenager will affect the way I feel for the rest of my life.   Or maybe this is just life.

I think I’d be okay if I could drink alcohol at work.  It sounds terrible, but I think I’d still be pretty productive…maybe even inspired.  Knowing that I had the freedom to drink may even make it so I wouldn’t do it.  I remember working at Wal-Mart, Home Depot, and HEB (Grocery Store in Texas) when I was in high school and college.  I drank all the time before work, or partied some other way.  If anyone that is reading this has ever been a cashier they’ll know what I mean when I say I always had the most Items Registered per Minute out of all the other cashiers, despite the partying.  Or maybe because of them.  It was fun.  -unfigurable


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