I’d like to disregard my remembering self – fuck that guy. All the remembering self does is try to construct memories to look upon later on and think about. It’s kind of voyeurish, but instead of ogling someone else I’m spying on me. I’m trying to focus on the experiencing self. After all, Alzheimer patients seem happy enough merely enjoying beauty and gentleness without secure and comfortable memories to lean on. Alzheimerites have attained full experience. Fuck the memories. Put me on a mother fuckin’ vacation to Aruba, take my camera away, and give me an amnesia elixir after the vacation ends so I don’t remember. I’d pay for it. Isn’t experience the point of the Hangover movies? The characters in the Hangover don’t remember shit, but they are united – by experience. I want to experience. But I can’t. I focus on constructing memories when in the moment. I need experiential enthrallment. I don’t want to sit back and remember.