It’s unacceptable for men to forgo alcohol. When I offer you a beer I’m trying to sync our chemical balances, thoughts, and build an alliance. Women have no choice in the building of alliances with one another – that’s why they make friends so easily. If they spend extended amounts of time together their bodies synchronize their menstrual cycles. They gain chemical telepathy with strangers. Dudes don’t have this. We have alcohol, and before alcohol I’m sure there were magic mushrooms, or intoxicating cacti that men used to link to one another. My point is that the Indians probably called a guy a fag when he declined to take a bite of peyote. And the base idea is still true today. The guy that rejects the beer is refusing to synchronize thoughts, chemical balances, and alliances with me. He’s failing to build trust, to compromise, and to become one team. It’s almost an act of war to decline my beer. Fuck off Mr. Sober. You’re not welcome here. Fuck off Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. You are responsible for creating social retards that can’t figure out how to connect with other people.