I think I figured out the wife thing. I haven’t field tested it yet, but it makes sense in my mind. My kids ask me questions and it taxes me, my subordinates ask me questions at work and it taxes me, and I ask my wife questions at home, to show her that I’m ready to listen, and it taxes her.
I need to make statements to her. She doesn’t need to be interrogated. She needs me to talk to her like the old friend that she is, with statements revealing to her what is on my mind. Then she’ll respond to me with statements about what is on her mind, and I’ll listen – and move the conversation forward as best I can. This type of conversation should not tax her.
I am deliberately not going to ask her a single question today. Let’s see if this works. -unfigurable