I make terrible company. It’s crazy all the shit that I’ll fill my day with (ie music, tv, reading, emailing, language learning, etc) so I don’t have to be within myself. I wonder why that’s so hard for me. But I think it’s probably less hard for me than it is for others.
I learned a new perspective on introverts/extroverts the other day. I always saw it as extroverts living in the outside world and introverts as living within themselves. What I learned was that extroverts get used to things faster (habituation is the scientific term). This explains, to me, why I’m quiet when I first show up to an organization for a longer period than most. It also explains why most people that first meet me gain the impression that I don’t like them. It takes me a long time to get used to new people, things, and situations (habituate). But once I’m comfortable I destroy some shit, make good impressions, and knock down targets.
People that habituate faster (extroverts) get bored faster, thrill seek, and make impulsive decisions. I now understand why I suffered more than most when I first got to Kuwait, but I’m thriving more than most now. I suck at change. I like things to stay the same. I find routine and kill it. Others (extroverts) get bored with routine and cease to function. So, on long deployments I do well where others want to kill themselves because it’s groundhog day.
I miss home still, but I’m getting used to this now so I’m okay. I’m actually starting to get into this. It’s kinda like college. I sucked the first few years, but once I got used to it I started hitting the dean’s list. Or like marriage. It took me 11 years to really realize how much I love Milota. Just thoughts. Carl