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Real Connections Aren’t Pretty


This is about the need for real human interaction in our future conversations. It’s about staying in touch with real life while I’m away – at war. Real human interaction! Everyone thinks they should shelter the Soldiers while they are away, but missing out on life back home is the worst part of a deployment. I yearn to know what is going on. On the other hand, I couldn’t care less about the weather. So why do you keep telling me about how hot it is?

You say we shouldn’t talk about touchy topics, that we should ignore the issue until we have a cooling period…How long is the cooling period, for heated issues, before you can talk it out? Who decides when the cooling period is over? How far does the anxiety level have to drop before the discussion is had? How do you measure that? Can the anxiety level even drop before the discussion is had? If the anxiety level cannot drop without a discussion to make it drop…do we never talk again because we are scared of a little fight?

That’s my fear. I’m scared that fear of the controversial conversation leads to limited discussion…and eventually limited discussion leads to pointless interaction…pointless interaction mixed with anxiety of a possible real discussion leads to avoidance…avoidance leads to exclusion. A little pocket book of quotes I had said, “Everyone you meet wears an invisible sign around their neck that reads “Make me feel special.”” Exclusion, bred by waiting for the cool down period to end, is the antithesis of making people feel special. What would be worse: me being argumentative with you on occasion or me not talking to you? Which is more aggressive in attacking another person’s feeling of importance in your life – exclusion or conflict?

I need to deal with life while I’m deployed. Please don’t exclude me. If we can’t handle life virtually…if we can’t discuss life with use of the internet…then I miss out on getting to know you. Conflicts will arise. Conflicts have arisen. Would you rather I didn’t call or that we work it out with a little conflict? -Carl

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