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Midlife Shmidlife / This Isn’t a Crisis


Is it a midlife crisis if you plan it out years in advance? I have 11 years remaining in the military and afterwards I plan to grow my hair and beard, get an old school El Camino, and move to Colorado to become a teacher and legally smoke whatever I chose while reading and studying history. My kids will be out of the house, I’ll have a retirement check from the Army, and I’ll have evenings, weekends, and summers off from work.

The circumstances in my life will be substantially different then than they are now. I won’t have the grooming or urinalysis restrictions that the military imposes. I won’t have to compete for advancement. My kids will have their own lives. Why should I not do what I want at that point in my life? I don’t plan on being dangerous. I will act within the law.

Every time I dream aloud about what life will be 11 years from now the wife calls it a midlife crisis. The changes will occur not because I suddenly realize my life is halfway over, but because I planned my life out, a decade in advance, to play out in this fashion. I think she’s wrong. –Carl Miller

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