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Conceding Small Loses for Big Wins: Marriage


Small loses. Or really small wins…that’s the key to marriage. I lose on purpose on the day-to-day incidentals. If the wife wants to change the channel I let her, if she believes I was rude in one of my nonchalant responses I agree and try better, and if she wants to buy some shoes or décor for the house I let her. I give in, agree, and allow. This way when the big decisions arise I make the decision. She concedes because I rarely insist.

She decides what to eat, what to watch, how to spend Friday and Saturday night, what decorations go up, and what I wear (on special occasions).

I decide how much/where to invest, when we buy a car and how much to spend, where/when to buy a house, and what the children study.

I concede the small to monopolize the big. Frivolous daily decisions aren’t important to me…but she like to organize the day-to-day. That’s how I manage to ensure happiness. –Carl Miller

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