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Honesty in Marriage


I think everyone stretches the truth here and there.  I also think when the stakes are higher people are more likely to stretch.  My wife, here and there, gets into squabbles with my parents and brother.  I think when she re-tells me what happened in a conversation she had with them she tends to project a story that’s one-sided.  Should this upset me?  Everyone stretches…I might leave out details in a story here and there at work to project the image that I want to my co-workers or boss.  But, I think with something personal, like my parents, that my wife should be completely honest.  I mean, the parent-child relationship is something special.  Why wouldn’t my wife respect that?  I don’t want to refuse to mediate if wither party has a problem, but damn these are some rocky waters and it doesn’t help that my wife keeps building false floors for me to fall through.

I watch the Bachelorette with my wife sometimes (you can laugh if you want to).  One of the main themes in the show is that the Bachelorette really wants the guys to open up and be honest.  While I know that I shouldn’t gain marriage advice from prime-time TV, I do feel like one of the things I really want from my wife is openness and honesty.  She should feel that if she gives me the truth that I’ll make the right decision on my own.  She should have that confidence in me.  And the fact that she lies to me shows that she doesn’t have enough confidence in me to think that I’ll make good choices if provided with complete and accurate data.  Ominous sign for the marriage. -Carl Miller

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